When Its His Birthday Funny Comments

60 Funny Birthday Quotes Perfect for Cards

Look no farther for hilariously perfect quotes for birthday cards.

1 / 61

Birthdays are fun! Trying to discover something to write on a altogether card though, not and then much. But worry not, because there are many hilarious quotes yous can cull from to make someone smile on their special mean solar day. Simply expect at lx of our favorite birthday quotes and yous'll definitely find i that fits your liking. Make sure you also cheque out the funniest quotes of all time—and the best altogether gifts for anybody in your life!

ii / 61

"One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless." —Liz Smith Getty Images, rd.com

Liz Smith

"1 of the best parts of growing older? You tin flirt all y'all like since you lot've become harmless." Check out these altogether puns for all ages!

3 / 61

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." —Oprah Getty Images, rd.com

Oprah

"The more y'all praise and celebrate your life, the more in that location is in life to celebrate."

4 / 61

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." —Ogden Nash Getty Images, rd.com

Ogden Nash

"You are only young once, merely you can stay immature indefinitely."

5 / 61

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." —Mark Twain Getty Images, rd.com

Marker Twain

"Age is an issue of heed over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't affair."

vi / 61

"Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature." —Harold Coffin Getty Images, rd.com

Harold Bury

"Middle historic period is the awkward menstruum when Father Time starts communicable up with Mother Nature." For trivia fans, have you ever wondered what the origin of the birthday cake is?

vii / 61

"There is still no cure for the common birthday." —John Glenn Getty Images, rd.com

John Glenn

"There is still no cure for the common birthday."

eight / 61

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." —Lucille Ball Getty Images, rd.com

Lucille Ball

"The hush-hush of staying young is to alive honestly, eat slowly, and lie almost your age." For more secrets on making 50 expect like 30, adopt these 50 everyday habits to wait younger.

9 / 61

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." —Larry Lorenzoni Getty Images, rd.com

Larry Lorenzoni

"Birthdays are salubrious. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."

10 / 61

"I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." —Francis Bacon Getty Images, rd.com

Francis Bacon

"I will never be an old human being. To me, old age is e'er 15 years older than I am."

12 / 61

"After 30, a body has a mind of its own." —Bette Midler Getty Images, rd.com

Bette Midler

"After 30, a torso has a heed of its own."

13 / 61

"Live your life and forget your age." —Norman Vincent Peale Getty Images, rd.com

Norman Vincent Peale

"Live your life and forget your age." These greeting card stories are cute and memorable.

14 / 61

"Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." —Richard Bach Getty Images, rd.com

Richard Bach

"Here is the test to find whether your mission on world is finished: If you're alive, information technology isn't."

xv / 61

"We don't grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old." —Ralph Waldo Emerson Getty Images, rd.com

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We don't grow one-time. When nosotros finish to grow, we get old." Age, in itself, tin also be pretty funny. If you're enjoying these funny birthday quotes, you'll also get a laugh at these jokes about old historic period.

16 / 61

"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you." — Ogden Nash Getty Images, rd.com

Ogden Nash

"Center age is when yous're sitting at habitation on a Sat night and the telephone rings and you lot hope it isn't for you."

18 / 61

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." —Golda Meir Getty Images, rd.com

Golda Meir

"Onetime historic period is like a plane flying through a tempest. One time you are aboard there is nothing yous can do about it."

twenty / 61

"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." —Jack Benny Getty Images, rd.com

Jack Benny

"Age is strictly a instance of mind over matter. If you don't listen, it doesn't matter."

21 / 61

"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life." —Daniel Francois Esprit Auber Getty Images, rd.com

Daniel Francois Camaraderie Auber

"Aging seems to be the only available way to alive a long life." These quarantine quotes are also pretty funny.

22 / 61

"Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue. Now that you are fifty-five, we hope that you will survive." —Marcia Goldlist Getty Images, rd.com

Marcia Goldlist

"Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue. At present that you are fifty-five, we promise that you will survive."

23 / 61

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." —H. Prochnow Getty Images, rd.com

H. Prochnow

"The all-time way to remember your wife's altogether is to forget it in one case." These 75 hilarious quotes will besides make you chuckle.

24 / 61

"They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much." —Malcolm Cowley Getty Images, rd.com

Malcolm Cowley

"They tell you that y'all'll lose your listen when you abound older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much."

25 / 61

"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." —Robert Frost Getty Images, rd.com

Robert Frost

"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of xxx." If you're looking for more than quotes to make you laugh, hither are some chuckle-inducing mom quotes.

26 / 61

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not." —Mark Twain Getty Images, rd.com

Mark Twain

"When I was younger, I could retrieve anything, whether it happened or non."

27 / 61

"Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself." —Tom Wilson Getty Images, rd.com

Tom Wilson

"Wisdom doesn't necessarily come up with age. Sometimes age merely shows upwardly all by itself."

28 / 61

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." —Charles Schultz Getty Images, rd.com

Charles Schultz

"Just recall, once you're over the hill you brainstorm to selection up speed."

30 / 61

"Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life." —Robert Southey Getty Images, rd.com

Robert Southey

"Alive as long as you lot may. The offset twenty years are the longest half of your life."

31 / 61

"Looking fifty is great—if you're sixty." —Joan Rivers Getty Images, rd.com

Joan Rivers

"Looking fifty is great—if you're sixty." These jokes about Mon are only as funny as this quote.

32 / 61

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." —Sir Norman Wisdom Getty Images, rd.com

Sir Norman Wisdom

"As you get older iii things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I tin can't remember the other two."

33 / 61

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life." —Herbert Asquith Getty Images, rd.com

Herbert Asquith

"Youth would be an ideal land if it came a lilliputian later in life." Make sure you besides check out these clever jokes.

34 / 61

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." —Robert Frost Getty Images, rd.com

Robert Frost

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman'south birthday but never remembers her historic period."

35 / 61

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." —Erma Bombeck Getty Images, rd.com

Erma Bombeck

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." Make certain yous as well check out these customer service jokes.

36 / 61

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." —Leo Rosenberg Getty Images, rd.com

Leo Rosenberg

"Commencement you forget names, then you lot forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper upward, then you forget to pull your zipper down."

37 / 61

"Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed." —Anthony Powell Getty Images, rd.com

Anthony Powell

"Growing one-time is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you take not committed."

38 / 61

"I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it." —Eva Gabor Getty Images, rd.com

Eva Gabor

"I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it." Brand sure yous also check out these love puns.

39 / 61

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them." — Ogden Nash Getty Images, rd.com

Ogden Nash

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

forty / 61

"Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age." —Richard Armour Getty Images, rd.com

Richard Armour

"Of late I announced to have reached that phase when people who look former who are just my age." These hilarious text jokes volition besides lift your spirits.

41 / 61

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." —Golda Meir Getty Images, rd.com

Golda Meir

"Onetime historic period is like a aeroplane flight through a tempest. Once you are aboard at that place is nix you can practice well-nigh information technology."

42 / 61

"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." —Maurice Chavelier Getty Images, rd.com

Maurice Chevalier

"Quondam historic period isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

43 / 61

"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." —Dave Barry Getty Images, rd.com

Dave Barry

"Thank you to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized earth to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once."

45 / 61

"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Ubie Blake Getty Images, rd.com

Ubie Blake

"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."

46 / 61

"If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes." —Euripedes Getty Images, rd.com

Euripedes

"If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes." These one-liners volition also make you lot express joy.

47 / 61

"Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened." —Jennifer Yane Getty Images, rd.com

Jennifer Yane

"Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened."

49 / 61

"Don't regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it." —Catherine Pulsifer Getty Images, rd.com

Catherine Pulsifer

"Don't regret another birthday, the expert news is that you are live and can gloat information technology."

fifty / 61

Kate Summers

"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!"

52 / 61

"Don't just count your years, make your years count." —George Meredith Getty Images, rd.com

George Meredith

"Don't just count your years, make your years count."

53 / 61

"The good thing about getting older is if you don't want to do something you can say, I'm too old to do that!" Getty Images, rd.com

Kate Summers

"The skillful thing about getting older is if you don't want to do something you tin say, I'g also erstwhile to do that!" Here are the 50 funniest jokes near all l states.

54 / 61

"As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames." —Chaka Khan Getty Images, rd.com

Chaka Khan

"As you get older, though, you realize in that location are fire extinguishers. Yous do have an power to control the flames."

55 / 61

"You're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!" —Catherine Pulsifer Getty Images, rd.com

Catherine Pulsifer

"Yous're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!" Hither are some jokes that are proven to be funny past inquiry.

56 / 61

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs." —Kin Hubbard Getty Images, rd.com

Kin Hubbard

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs."

57 / 61

"Turning the big 40, well that can seem like a blow. No worries though as 50 will be here before you know!" —Catherine Pulsifer Getty Images, rd.com

Catherine Pulsifer

"Turning the big 40, well that tin seem like a blow. No worries though as 50 volition be here before you know!" These bad jokes you can't help but smiling at will besides make you laugh.

58 / 61

"You've heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you're looking wonderful." —Cardinal Spellman Getty Images, rd.com

Key Spellman

"You've heard of the three ages of human: Youth, middle age, and you're looking wonderful."

60 / 61

"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young." —Dorothy Canfield Fisher Getty Images, rd.com

Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"Those who love securely never grow old; they may die of old historic period, but they dice young." To spark inspiration for funny birthday quotes you lot can write in your side by side card, check out these hilarious corny jokes.

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"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." —Larry Lorenzoni Getty Images, rd.com

Larry Lorenzoni

"You know you're getting sometime when the candles cost more than the cake." Adjacent up, don't miss these funny birthday jokes that will make anyone laugh.

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Source: https://www.rd.com/list/birthday-quotes/

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